Everybody Needs Genetic Testing!
The Annual Education Conference
National Society of Genome Service Specialists (NSGSS)
Proud Sponsors: UneedaTest, Inc.; TestAll!, Inc; Twist-of-Fate, Inc; RLKVirchow Pathogenomics, Inc.; BraveNew Analytics, Inc.; AfterLife Genetics, Inc.
Faculty: Speakers will be chosen by our Corporate Sponsors from their secret list of paid consultants, and from their fashionably dressed, attractive, professional sales staff.
Reminder: Continuing Education Credits require attendance at each session and ordering a minimum number of genetic tests from each Corporate Sponsor.
Wednesday, October 24
10:00AM – 11:00AM Opening Address by the UneedaTest-Sponsored NSGSS President: UneedaTest – The Genetics Laboratory For All Of Your DNA Testing Needs. An objective, scientific discussion of why UneedaTest is the right choice for your patients’ genetic testing needs. Free iPads to the first 100 attendees who promise to send us 50 specimens next month!!
11:00AM – Noon Plenary Session: Corporate Driven Eugenics: Is It Really That Bad?
Noon – 2:00PM Luncheon, sponsored by RLKVirchow Pathogenomics, where our motto is “Omnis venditiones e venditiones/All sales arise from other sales.” Free lunch requires proof of having ordered genetic tests from RLKVirchow Pathogenomics.
2:00PM – 3:00PM Plenary Session: Clinical Trials – A Barrier To Patient Uptake Of New Genetic Tests.
3:00PM- 4:00PM Plenary Panel Discussion: Fear of Genetic Disease – Your Best Marketing Tool.
4:00PM – 4:30 PM Soma and Dark Chocolate Break, sponsored by BraveNew Analytics. Free give-away of stylized Malthusian Belts with BraveNew Analytics logo!
4:3oPM – 5:30PM Corpses Have DNA Too: The Dead – The Next Market For Genetic Testing. Sponsored by AfterLife Genetics – the home of true ancestry testing.
6:00PM – Until You Drink The Bar Dry Uneeda Party, Sponsored by Uneeda Test. An evening of food, drink, fun, and clever sales pitches by Uneeda Test Sales Associates. Important Disclaimer: This event is not intended to influence your choice of genetic testing laboratory.
Thursday, October 25
3:00AM – 4:00AM Community Outreach – Special Educational Event for local elementary, middle school and high school students
4:00AM – 4:05AM NSGSS Business Meeting
4:05AM – 4:10AM Open Mike
4:10AM – 4:20AM Ethical Dilemmas in Genetic Counseling
4:20AM – 4:25AM Advanced Counseling Skills for Patients In Crisis
4:25AM – 4:30AM Presented Papers.
4:30 AM – 8:00AM Free Time to explore the Exhibitor Booths
8:00 AM – 10:00AM TestAll! Sponsored NSGSS Leadership Award Ceremonies & Breakfast
– Huntington Award For Most TestAll! Tests Ordered For Adult Onset Conditions in a Pediatric Setting
– Gattaca Award For Strongest Advocate of the TestAll! Really, Really Expanded Newborn Screening Panel
– Podsnap Trophy, awarded to the Genome Service Specialist who ordered the greatest number of TestAll! prenatal tests on a fetus
10:00 AM – Noon TestAll! Sponsored Break-Out Sessions (Choose One)
– Counseling Skills: How To Appear To Promote Autonomy, Empower Patients, And Seem Non-Directive – But Still Increase Hospital Revenue.
– Legal And Social Issues: How Everyone Benefits From Exclusive Use Gene Patents. Really. No Kidding.
– Professional Issues: The Relationship Between Laboratories and Genomic Service Specialists: Clinical Partnerships, Not Conflicts of Interest
Noon – 1:30 PM Twist-of-Fate Sponsored Luncheon. Special Student Session: Basic Counseling Skills: How To Convince Reluctant Patients to Undergo Genetic Testing.
1:30PM – 3:00 PM Nap Time. Free TestAll! pillows and blankets for you to keep and proudly display in your offices. TestAll! – the lab that lets you sleep easy, knowing that your patients are getting the greatest possible number of genetic tests. Limited to attendees who have ordered genetic testing through TestAll!, so order testing now to secure your pillow and blanket.
3:00PM – 4:30 PM Twist-of-Fate Sponsored Lecture Series
– The Disability Community – Who Cares If They Don’t Like Us?
– The Nuremberg Code: No Longer Relevant To Your Practice.
– Newborn Screening: Not Just For Treatable Conditions Anymore.
– Ethics, Shmethics: Ignore The Critics.
4:30PM – 5:00PM Twist-of-Fate Sponsored “Twist-of-Lemon Martini Break”
5:00PM – 5:30PM Professional Education Panel Discussion: The Clinical Doctorate in Sales: The Newest Advanced Degree in Genetic Counseling.
5:30PM – 6:00PM Closing Conference Lecture: Understanding How Your Relationship With Corporate Sponsors Does Not Influence Your Choice of Genetic Tests or Laboratories.